Patience

I am not a patient person. I am not patient because I value control above all else. Being patient means that I am relinquishing control to something or someone else--time, circumstance, graduate schools, etc. Another reason I am not patient is that I think that I have always associated patience with inactivity, which I further equate with laziness. If I am not doing something--anything, the thought usually goes-- then I am not being proactive enough. However, I think that after a month of self-deprecation over not doing anything, I have finally realized that I am doing all I can. I have applied to schools, I have applied to jobs, and now the ball is other people's courts. It is up to other parties to decide if and when to contact me. Chomping at the bit is not going to quicken the process, and frankly, I just need to settle down.